When I was a kid and someone would say "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I remember thinking I wanted to win the Olympics and be a professional horse rider of coarse. And like all my teachers have said practice makes perfect. At that time I thought if I did exactly that, practice practice practice I would get there. At that time no one told me all the sweat, tears, lack of money and sleep deprivation that would occur in the attempt to reach that goal of mine, being a professional rider and better yet riding for the team. Recently a friend of mine had mentioned how happy my blog posts have been. Actually, to quote her directly she said "STOP SOUNDING SO HAPPY! Your making me want to drop out of school and move out there." Don't get me wrong, all that happiness is legit, but unfortunately with this sport practice, practice, practice does not always make perfect.

When I first moved out here I knew I would be working hard. I knew my life would be horses and I knew this would either secure my decision in being a professional or make me reconsider, in other words this would make me or break me. When I say working had let me be more specific.I work about an average of 66 hours a week. with the excpetion of days like yesterday when we arrived at the barn at five and left at 7 30. 14 hours at the barn . An average day may consist of riding, icing, revita vetting, riding, cleaning stalls, turning horses out, cleaning padocks, blanketing, unblanketing, cleaning stalls, grooming, icing, wrapping, cleaning tack, cleaning the barn, cleaning horses, packing, unpacking, graining X3, feeding X3 and finding time to eat somewhere in the middle of that. Eating is very crucial to my happiness. Throughout all of this maddeness as an upper level rider I need to find time to also prepare for the competitions. Packing for myself, getting my horse ready and getting myself mentally prepared. Allison does a very good job at making sure we can get that done, does not make it easier though. There are only so many hours in the day! Coming out here I had worried that maybe I was making this move to soon. Maybe I should have some more advanced runs under my belt first? When I mentioned this to my mom she reassured me both my horse and I were ready for this. Coming to the east coast It was like going from being a big fish in a small pond to the exact opposite. Its hard not to feel like I have something to prove, but at the same time it is nice to not have anyone know me. I can do my thing and thats that.
After the first pine top Chloe had a leg that was worrying me, It was a bit larger then normal and of coarse seeing how she is all I have right now I got paranoid. I made sure to ice and revita vet and wrap! It went away and I decided maybe it had to do with a combo of the hard footing and studs which she is not used to. I kept working her and all seemed normal. This past Pine Top was my first advanced of the season. It was a one day so we went down the night before. Chloes legs seemed again a bit bigger then normal. I was hoping it was because she was not used to being in a stall. I walked her and they went down. The idea of something maybe being wrong but its nothing apparent just kills me. I decided I would run her slow and keep an eye on them after each phase. Dressage was first and her test was actually very good. I did simple changes instead of flying changes because I didn't want to press her for them quite yet. We had a steady test and overall I was very pleased. Next was show jumping. It was similar to the previous pine top course, lots of weird striding and they made good use of the terrain. She jumped so well last time I was really not too worried about it. She warmed up well and I went in there and jumped the first three, came to the fourth jump a vertical. Nothing special just a vertical. She stopped. I was so confused but nonetheless I came around and road it tough and she stopped again and off I came. When Chloe spooks at a jump I can feel it three strides out and all it leads to is her jumping even bigger then the normal. This was not her spooking. I gave her two good rides to it so I honestly can say it was not me. I cried my whole drive home with occasional pauses to eat chocolate. This just was not my horse. Driving home I felt the pressure of being back here, wanting to do well, being on the developing riders list, having Jimmy Wofford tell me it was good to see me on the east coast, pressure to qualify for the three star and all this combined with me worrying about my horse, and knowing that this is my shot and falling off was not a good start. So I cried and ate chocolate and talked to my mom. It did help. I got back to the barn and sure enough Chloes legs were big. This time not the right one but the left one. Great. I iced her and iced again and poulticed and wrapped. I did dressage and jumped half a course, this was not enough to make her legs big. I know my horse and I know that know matter how much other riders may tell me that this is normal for upper level horses I refuse to accept that until all other possibilities are crossed out. The next day her legs looked good and today even better. She will go to the vets tomorrow and hopefully it will be good news. I have training sessions on Thursday and Friday and I hope that I can ride in them, but Chloes soundness comes first.
Sometimes after a long hard working day I go back to my childhood dreams when everything seemed so simple. When practice practice practice as the answer to my dreams. It is comforting to sometimes forget about all the pressure and demands of this sport and remember that we do this because we love horses. Just ten minutes of sitting with Chloe reminds me of this. I love that horse and I love riding her and at the end of the day that's why I am back here.
I will keep you all posted on Chloe and please send good thoughts this way.
Xoxo Kelly and Chloe